Holy Week | Thursday

We often focus, rightly, on the need to keep forgiving when others sin against us. But the passage also says that the person who caused the offense needs to keep repenting and asking for forgiveness. It’s a two-way street. I think I often find it harder to ask for forgiveness than to give it. That takes real humility and courage. Both sides of the equation should be normal in the kingdom. Can you imagine what the church would be like if this was a normal part of our life together? I do think we make too big a deal of agonizing over what to do when we are hurt by another believer. Jesus says, “Come on guys, this should not be a big deal. It doesn’t even take that much faith! Just repent and forgive. It’s not optional. It’s your duty.”

The thing I try to always remember, is that forgiving others is really for me, not them. So often, as Janet says in the opening paragraph, our own expectations cause our disappointment. We expect certain things of others in our lives, and feel bad when they don't deliver--whether or not those expectations are realistic. For me, this usually happens when I assess how others will act in a given situation by how I would act--but they are not me, so this is usually not accurate and often not fair.

So many times when I forgive someone, it is for a hurt they don't even know about, or a "sin" they didn't realize was a sin. But it frees me to keep a sweet and open spirit, which is why I try to live letting go of grudges before they can take root and ruin my heart.

Forgiveness has been a struggle for me in specific areas. I have been hurt by my former church. I've prayed allot for the Lord's help in this area. Though I feel I've forgiven them, there are times when their name is brought up that stirs negativity in my spirit. This has been such a struggle for me. When I think I'm good with it, I realize no I'm not. Lord I continue to pray that complete forgive will come through Your Holy Spirit.

I have a question for the theologians in this group. I have no issues with forgiving people, but Jesus says an interesting thing here. He says “if a person repents forgive him.” Vs. 3. If there is no repentance, do you just keep forgiving? The classical answer is of course yes, but it is interesting how Jesus said it here.

II believe it is important to forgive even if the other person doesn’t repent. I believe it is the Apostle Paul who says, lnsofar as it depends on you, be at peace with all people.” Jesus certainly offers forgiveness to those who hav e beat Him and nailed Him to the Cross. Steven, while being stoned, prays “Father, please don’t hold this sin against them.”

I think it's important to think about all of Scripture when we think about forgiveness, not just this passage. I've read helpful articles that dig deeper into this as well. I think of forgiveness in 2 dimensions--vertically (in relation to God) and horizontally (in relation to the person who sins against us). When it comes to the vertical aspect, I think we are always called to forgive. What Melody said is helpful regarding this. It helps us to let go of an offense and leave it in God's hands. But the "rebuke" aspect mentioned in this passage is also relevant. If the person is not repentant, it could be that he/she is unaware of sinning against me. In that case it is my responsibility to go to him/her and say something. We tend to not be very good at this, as it seems "un-Christian" to do so, but Jesus clearly talks about it hear and elsewhere (Matt 18 comes to mind). But, as Nick said, we are told to be at peace as far as it depends on us. There are consequences to an unrepentant attitude, which might include lack of reconciliation. If someone continues to sin against me, it is wise to put distance between us and not allow it to continue. The "horizontal" component to forgiveness is trickier in this regard, and more dependent on a repentant heart.

Janet, I completely agree. Jesus would never want us to remain in an abusive relationship.